Defeating Stress and Anxiety in the Workplace
By Steven K. Haught, MBA
Stress and anxiety can be a real problem for individuals, and when you mix people together in a common work environment, with several experiencing higher than normal levels of stress, it can contribute to diminished productivity and work quality.
When we experience acute stress, our brains prepare to fight, flight or freeze, not to ponder possibilities and solutions. Cognitive abilities are limited when the brain is emotionally overwhelmed. We need a mental reboot to activate our thinking.
How do you reboot someone’s brain, maybe even your own? Instead of trying to paint a positive future, start by helping them feel safe in the moment. This cannot be over emphasized… this moment, the now, is so important for individuals and the place where they are planning to return to work.
We all have experienced some level of stress with all that’s happening in our country. Mix together coronavirus, a growing recession, fears of unemployment and the resurgence of racism, and these issues coalescing at the same time, are a powerful downer for everyone.
Acute stress is triggered when we lose a sense of control in the present and predictability about the future. We then spend our mental energy conjuring worse-case scenarios. We are frustrated by the endless swirl of “what ifs.” We ridicule bright visions of a future some leaders are inventing to try an quell the current social storms.
I remember experiencing extreme mental stress when I worked for a company, where the owners suddenly decided to sell. No warning, no discussion with me, even though I was the guy that ran day-to-day operations. The company was like my security blanket. It represented the center of my career and a personal roadmap for the future. It carried many hopes and dreams for me and my family. Now all plans were up in the air. Sell the house, move to another part of the country, uproot the kids, all very stressful things, and do it all in about three months time!
Besides the impact on me and my family, most of my employees spent their days whispering and fueling the latest rumors. No work got done. Defeatism spread just like the coronavirus. No one was immune.
Whatever the circumstances of your life, you need to feel safe right now. People need to feel noticed, valued, heard and reminded that their existence matters no matter what they are experiencing. They need their raging emotions acknowledged as real and expected. Then they may feel safe enough to explore their thinking and possible choices and actions going forward.
Start by asking your employees how they are coping with the current challenges. You don’t need to solve their problems; just say you understand why they are thinking and feeling the way they do. This acknowledgment lays the foundation to look more deeply into how their thoughts are affecting their performance in the workplace. in the office or remotely.
Use reflective inquiry to sort what's real from imagined. As they talk, listen for what they are believing about the present moment and assuming about the future. When you help them put their beliefs and assumptions on the table, they begin to see their gaps in logic and inherited beliefs that no longer serve them.
Share statements like, “Sounds like you believe (this) is happening.” Or “You said you assume (this) is how your life and work will be affected.”
Fill in "(this)" with specific phrases they shared in conversation, using their words so they can examine their thinking with you.
While it might not be an easy thing to do, provoking people to think about their thinking is the “single most powerful antidote to erroneous beliefs and drifting into autopilot mode.” Reflecting to people what they are saying helps them become objective observers of their stories, rumors, fears and concerns. They understand the meaning they are assigning to situations and may then see a new way forward. They will act with a stronger commitment than if told what to do.
Our brains resist self-exploration. We program our brains for self-protection, even if it means conditioning our brains to distort present realities. We navigate dilemmas better when trusted others use reflective inquiry to help us think more broadly for ourselves, analyzing situations openly and honestly.
Simple steps for using reflective inquiry
You don’t need to be a trained coach to help people break out of their mental paralysis. If you believe in their ability to think through their dilemmas and then you stay patient and curious, and you sincerely care about them, they will find value in the conversation.
- Set the expectation. Let them know you aren’t going to give them answers. You want to be their thinking partner to explore the situation together.
- Determine what they most want to create right now. If they could improve the current situation, what would it look like? What do they hope to achieve? You need a destination for your conversation to make sure there is progress.
- Explore the story to uncover the blocks to getting what they want. Summarize what you hear. Share emotional shifts you notice, like when they get excited or doubtful. Mention anytime they say "should.” Is there a fear or obligation that is holding them back? Reflect the assumptions they are making that may or may not happen. Once the blocks are revealed, ask what step they want to take to move beyond their fears and concerns.
Above all, believe in them. They can figure this out. When you coach people, not their problems, you help reboot their minds and empower their ability to move forward.
An old friend and colleague used to say when faced with what seemed like the insurmountable challenge… “we will be laughing about this a hundred years from now.”
He was right. Don’t let things you have no control over trouble you… this too shall pass.
